In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Obesity is increasingprogressing worldwide and the number of overweight peoplepopulation is increasing in many countries. Moreover, physical fitness and health levels are deterioratinghealth status is deteriorating. I believebelieved that environment, inactive lifestyle and food industry are just some of the causes causing people to become overweightleading people to overweight. These problems can be resolved but unhealthythoughtful lifestyle and food habitshabit should be changed. Fast-food restaurantsFast food places are everywhere. People often buy foods to save money and time from those fast food shops. However, fast foods have few nutrientsa lack of nutrients and contain fats and sugars in a high amount which can cause health problems later on. Moreover, physical inactivity and laziness linked to the advancement of technology encourage obesity. For example, most individuals prefer to stay at home and they either work on their computers or play with their gadgets rather than going outside for a walk or doing outdoor activities. Another reason is the invention of cars and motorcycles which are convenient for travellers but a passive form of transporta passive way of transportation thus resulting in decreasing of physical fitness. In addition, the food industry has a great impact on society. For instanceFor an instance, food advertisements sometimes mislead the consumers by giving false information and sway people to buy high caloric foods. The solution should start within individual's efforts and supports from the government. Each and every one of us is responsible for looking after ourselves. Engaging in physical activities, providing our body with healthy & nutritious diets, avoiding vices can lead toward life betterment. The other solution would be a support coming from the government such as promoting physical activity programs in the community. An example of this is to have a free outdoor exercises or dance at the park. This can be an effective way to persuade people to be physically active while enjoying others company. Also, implementing proper food educationimplementing of proper food education at school and having a healthy set of meals at the canteen help the students to receive the nutrients they need. To conclude, there are several factors that can affect the rising number of obesity population and decline of physical fitness and level of health. These can be solved with collaboration between government programs and people's efforts towards a healthy society.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task with a broad, relevant range of causes and practical measures involving individuals and government. Its strongest content is undermined by presenting the entire discussion as one long paragraph, while recurring grammar and collocation errors also reduce polish. Prioritise a clear paragraph structure that separates causes from targeted solutions, then proofread noun phrases and word forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response covers both causes and measures with relevant points about fast food, inactivity, advertising, personal effort, and government action.
Make the cause-solution relationship more explicit by pairing each major cause with a targeted measure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress, but the whole answer is one long paragraph, which seriously weakens organization and readability.
Use separate paragraphs for introduction, causes, personal solutions, government solutions, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for health and lifestyle topics, but several collocations and word forms are inaccurate.
Use natural phrases such as sedentary lifestyle, unhealthy eating habits, high-calorie foods, and public health campaigns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent but mostly non-blocking grammar errors in tense, articles, plurals, and gerund structures.
Check every noun phrase for articles and plurals, and use gerunds after prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.