In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
HealthHealthiness plays a vital role in human lives. It is true that people's average weight is increasinggrowing in many nations due to several factors that reduce their fitnessdegrade their strength. There are various reasons why individuals' average weightindividual's average weight is increasingis being increased, but they could certainly take steps to address this issue. Firstly, the variety of food is different in each country that could increase people's weight, and the fitness levels fall sharplyfitness standard reduces drastically. For instance, people in many Western countriesmany western countries people used to have foods such as pizza and burgersfoods in such as pizza and burger which leads to obesity and surge in their weight that lowerscauses their health level. Moreover, some people skip breakfastMoreover, people used to skip their breakfast to keep them fit because of which their weight gets increased after some point of time. The food with proper quality, less saturated fatless cholesterol would control their weight and keep them fit that lead to healthy life in near future. In addition, people should have their meals in proper timing to avoid any health related issues.
Secondly, the lack of exercise is one of the reasons for human's weight control. Many people are reluctant to doMost of the people are lazy to do any daily exercises that affect their health directly. For example, people intend to use bus or train to travel for even small distance and also people are using lifts instead of steps for small distance walk in their work premises as well. As a result, human average weight is increasing drastically nowadaysnow a day in many countries. As a corrective measure, people should walk daily at least a couple of kilometres where it is possible and also do basic exercise to keep them fit and that would improve the health standard.
In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to average weight increase to peoples in many nations to maintain their health standard at a high level.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies two relevant causes of rising weight—unhealthy diets and inactivity—and offers practical individual actions such as better meals, walking, and exercise. However, the explanations are often unclear, the proposed measures remain narrow, and frequent language errors weaken communication. Separate each cause from its matching solution, extend the response with realistic public measures, and express the ideas in shorter, more accurately constructed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response identifies relevant causes such as unhealthy food and lack of exercise and gives basic solutions. However, the explanation is sometimes inaccurate or unclear, and the measures are narrow rather than fully developed at social or government level.
Separate causes from solutions more clearly, and add broader measures such as public health education, healthier school meals, and safer spaces for exercise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body sections, and conclusion. Progression is understandable, but ideas are packed into long paragraphs and some linking is repetitive or unclear.
Use one paragraph for diet causes and solutions, one for inactivity causes and solutions, and a concise conclusion that summarises both.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary covers health, food, exercise, and obesity, but many collocations are inaccurate, such as healthiness plays, fitness standard reduces, and causes their health level.
Use natural health phrases such as health is vital, fitness levels decline, unhealthy diets cause obesity, and maintain a healthy weight.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and sentence structure reduce clarity. Meaning is often recoverable, but the accuracy is limited.
Write shorter sentences and check each noun phrase for articles and plural forms before adding extra clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.