In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
According to a study, the average weight of people is increasing in a few countriesin few countries, which is, in turn, reducing their stamina and immunity levels. Being overweight is always a problemOverweight is always a problem and overweight causes numerous diseases and reduces the fitness.
A healthy human body on an average needs 2000 calories per day. Any additional caloriesAnymore added calories can cause more harm than good. There are few causes which contribute to this problem. Firstly, the type of foodfoods intake and advances in technology are resultingmore advancement in technology is resulting in processed food, which is high in sugar and salt levels. Ready-to-eat foodsReady to eat foods like chips, cheese would cause more damage to our digestivedigestion system. Secondly, in few countries like India, people eat food at once in large amountsamount instead of eating it in instalments. This habit would result in digestion problems.
Thirdly, proper intake of water is another important factor that many people simply ignore. It is said that 3 litres of water per day can avoid any digestion problems. Lastly, lack of exercise: many people, especially in corporate cultures, spend most of their time in front of the desk. Due to these highly pressurised jobs, they find very littleless time to take walk for at least 10 minutes. As a result of these reasons, a healthy person becomes obese.
These causes can be counter measured by following a proper diet which includes all food categories like fruits, vegetables, meats instead of readymade food, hydrating our body across the whole day. And finally, walking should be includedinduced in our daily routine for at least 30 minutes. It is said that "Prevention is better than cure ".Though we have time constraints with our busy schedules we have to balance between our routine and health.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task and offers relevant ideas about processed food, sedentary work, diet, and exercise. Its main limitation is that weaker claims about water and eating patterns dilute the explanation, while frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to focus on the strongest causes and pair each with a practical, clearly expressed solution in a logically organised paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both causes and measures and includes relevant points about processed food and lack of exercise. Some claims, such as water intake and eating in instalments, are weakly connected to national weight gain and reduce task development.
Focus on the strongest causes, such as diet and sedentary work, and match each one with a practical measure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has paragraphing and a generally logical sequence, but some list-like development and abrupt transitions weaken progression.
Use topic sentences that separate diet, lifestyle, and solutions, then make each solution answer a cause already discussed.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for health and lifestyle, but inaccurate collocations and word forms appear throughout.
Learn health collocations such as “food intake,” “ready-to-eat foods,” “digestive system,” “take a walk,” and “include exercise in a routine.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors with articles, determiners, comparative forms, and sentence punctuation are frequent, though meaning is usually clear.
Check article use before countable nouns and use present simple for general facts.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.