In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
In recent years, there has been an increasing trendthere is an increasing trend of obesity among individuals. Being overweight createsOverweight is creating several health- and fitness-related problemshealth and fitness related problems. This essay will analyseAllow me to analyse the reasons for this issue and possible remedial action. The essay will discuss the possible causescause, lack of exercise and the available solution options. Lack of physical exercise is the prime reasonattributes as the prime reason for overweight. For example, with the increasing desk jobs and convenient transportpersonal comfort, people end up working eight hours a day in front of a computer and travel in the comfort of their personal car. Once they reach home, they spend the majority of the time in front of the television. This lifestyle reduces the amount of physical activity of a person and contributes to their weight gain. Thus, lack of exercise impacts the amount of weight a person gains in a negative way. Increasing popularity of fast food is another major reason for weight gainreason for the overweight. People’s choices of tasty but unhealthy foods lead them to gain weight and finally, this food habit creates the obesity problem. Required steps have to be taken to ensure that individuals' weightweights of individuals are within a healthy body mass index rangein the right ratio per the body mass index; an index used to calculate the appropriate weight for heightheight and weight. Taking part in sports-related activitiesInvolving in sports related activities and exercise could create wonderful benefits for the body. For instance, football and volleyball are the games that can be played to keep a person fit. Running can also increase the physical stamina of a person. By doing sports-related activitiesBy exercising sports related activities and cross-training activities body weight can be maintained at the correct level. Therefore, improving the duration of physical activities will reduce excess weight gainthe overweight gained. To conclude, reduction in the physical activities contributes to the majority of the individual’s weight and health related problems. Indulging in sports activity or joining a cross-training gym is the suggested remedial action to overcome the problem. In coming years I think everyone should spend timetimes to take care of their health by indulging in physical activities.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies two relevant causes of rising weight and offers practical exercise-based measures, with examples that keep the discussion focused. Its main weakness is that the solutions remain largely personal and the one-block structure makes progression less clear. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the essay into distinct paragraphs and add a well-explained public-health measure that directly addresses fast food or inactivity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses causes and solutions, focusing on lack of exercise and fast food with relevant measures, but some solutions are narrow and personal rather than policy-based.
Add one public measure, such as school exercise programmes, food labelling, or taxes on unhealthy food, and link it to the cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically ordered, but the response is written as one block, and some transitions repeat or preview the essay mechanically.
Use paragraph breaks for introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion, with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is suitable for health and fitness, though some collocations are inaccurate or repetitive.
Use precise phrases such as sedentary lifestyles, calorie-dense fast food, physical activity, balanced diet, and public health campaigns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex grammar, but errors in tense, articles, agreement, and gerund use are frequent.
Check noun phrases after of and the -ing form after by, and keep present-tense statements consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.